Establishing a right/wrong framework in interpersonal communication is not likely to bring two people closer together. It is my belief that the goal of getting closer is overarching in personal relationships, even if we are not conscious of it in the moment of a heated discussion. Read More
Interpersonal conflict is often perpetuated by each person trying to convince the other: “I’m right, you’re wrong.”
I’m right, you’re wrong — at first glance this looks like a win/lose proposition, but actually it’s a lose/lose. I’m pretty certain I’ve said to every single couple I’ve ever counseled, “You’re both trying very hard to convince each other that you are right.” Followed by, “When you find yourself in convincing mode, stop the conversation. It’s not going anywhere.” In the counseling office this seems obvious. In the heat of conflict it’s easy to lose sight of this truth. Read More