Thinking Out Loud

First, the story: A mother and her five-year-old daughter go to a check-up with the pediatrician, who has an intern with him. The little girl has not been to the doctor’s office for several months and is usually reserved when she is there, deferring to her mother for communication with the doctor. In fact, the girl hardly utters a word. The story ends with the doctor suggesting to the mother that she consult a speech and language pathologist. The mother replies, “I don’t think that’s necessary.” The doctor is quietly disapproving as the appointment moves along and he talks mostly to the intern. He never asks the mother why she thinks the consult is unnecessary. Read More

I’ve been asked to write a piece on cursing and find it difficult. Cursing occurs for many reasons, and certain words can be used in different contexts and so have different meanings or impact. Read More

In short, stonewalling is an attempt to avoid discussing or doing something. We build walls to protect ourselves, and the purpose of stonewalling is to protect. Generally, stonewalling is not intended to hurt the other person but it can and would be when perceived to be disrespectful or contemptuous. Unless you’re dealing with something extreme or dangerous in a relationship, assume good intentions on the part of a “stonewaller,” even if at first that’s hard to accept. Read More

What’s the big picture look like, Jonas?

Words, Luanne—what words do we need here?

What do you know about our customer, Jeff, in terms of what really matters to them?

How can we line up the pieces to this to make it hang together, Will?”

Are there some symbols that pop to mind, Sarah?

Jon, what values are we really talking about?

These are natural questions that evolve when the members of a project team understand each other’s individual processing/communication styles. The questions tap into the strengths of each one, taking into account a range of skills in different domains. Words, images, numbers, feelings, client relationship, the big picture, the structure—these “languages” come together as this team develops a project for their customer. Read More