Thinking Out Loud


We spend a good deal of time in our lives watching and waiting for the opportunity to do or say something. In our intimate, relational worlds this is especially true.

We want to say something of importance to our partner. Is it a good time? Is the other person in the right frame of mind? Will I be able to say exactly what I want to? Maybe the other person will say or do something soon that will offer me an opportunity to act. These types of watching and waiting questions take up more internal space than we often recognize. Read More

It Takes Time And A plan

Wanting change and initiating change are two related but separate experiences. Wanting is an internal experience, initiating is external. So often in relationships we want it to feel and be different, not realizing that while altering intentions and attitudes can help, you still need to do something differently. Behavior has a sticky habit of remaining the same, despite good intentions. Read More

Empathy and Sympathy

Professional opera singers have voice coaches and professional baseball players have batting coaches. What they tend to emphasize are the fundamentals, and so it is with practicing good communication. Read More

Stating the Obvious

Stating the obvious—one of those phrases I say frequently in the office—is an interpersonal communication basic. As a prevention tool, stating the obvious is very effective. Let me give a quick example to illustrate the point. Read More