Thinking Out Loud

We spend a good deal of time in our lives watching and waiting for the opportunity to do or say something. In our intimate, relational worlds this is especially true.

We want to say something of importance to our partner. Is it a good time? Is the other person in the right frame of mind? Will I be able to say exactly what I want to? Maybe the other person will say or do something soon that will offer me an opportunity to act. These types of watching and waiting questions take up more internal space than we often recognize. Read More

Wanting change and initiating change are two related but separate experiences. Wanting is an internal experience, initiating is external. So often in relationships we want it to feel and be different, not realizing that while altering intentions and attitudes can help, you still need to do something differently. Behavior has a sticky habit of remaining the same, despite good intentions. Read More

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” the saying goes. We all know what that really means: If you don’t ever follow through, then talk is cheap. There’s a point to be made, yet the idea of having good intentions often gets a bad rap. Read More

Recently I posted a piece titled “Appreciation.” I almost didn’t write it because I thought it might be trite—so obvious that readers would be bored. Well, I’m glad I did write it because it brought more enthusiastic response than any other piece posted this past year. Read More