Thinking Out Loud

Seven-year-old Willie was having trouble on the playground with Dylan. Every time they played together, they fought, and it had reached the point that just approaching each other resulted in bad feelings and conflict of one sort or another. Their parents tried to encourage them to simply avoid each other. Although this seemed like a straightforward solution because each boy acknowledged not liking the other, it just didn’t work. Their teacher, Ms. Comstyle, tried talking with the boys individually and together without success. The principal even intervened, which did have an effect . . . short term. Needless to say, everyone was frustrated. Read More

Too often, we try to solve behavior problems our kids are having without actively collaborating with the kids. We tell them what we want them to do and why, and expect compliance because what we want them to do is reasonable (to us). Sometimes this works and we get compliance, but is it really a “durable solution,” as Ross Greene would call it? Read More