Thinking Out Loud

Playing Checkers or Counseling?

Frequently, I’ve heard from parents of a child I’m counseling, the child’s rendition of our session.

Parent: How was your session today?

Child: We played checkers. I beat him.

Parent: Did you do anything else?

Child: No.

Parent: Did you tell him about what happened at school yesterday?

Child: No.

I usually anticipate this type of interaction and explain to parents how careful they must be asking their children questions about counseling sessions, inadvertently inserting expectations, and not necessarily taking what’s said (by the child) as the whole story. Read More

Praise in the Workplace

Joshua owns and runs a small business with fifteen employees. He enjoys managing and takes pride in his ability to work with others. Delegating, in particular, is important to his philosophy of running the business. He wants others to take initiative, responsibility, and feel empowered on the job. So, he tries to be clear about his expectations but also encourages employees to take some risks and not be afraid to make mistakes. Read More

Introverts and Extroverts

Introverts and extroverts, it seems obvious which camp you are in by simple observation. Do you walk into a social situation and seek out others for conversation, enjoying the back and forth of friendly discussion? Or do you enter the room more cautiously, perhaps having a conversation with one or two others after some feelings of awkwardness? Let’s be careful not to stereotype, remembering that many of us exhibit qualities of both depending on the situation. Still, there is some basic truth that each of us belong more in one camp than the other, but how important is this? Read More

Post Divorce Emotional Bonds

When some years have passed since a divorce and each person has moved on in creating an independent life, certain feelings can linger that cause confusion.  Here are some of the comments I hear from clients in counseling: Read More