Thinking Out Loud

Maintaining a balance between your work and outside life is a popular topic these days. HR professionals, bloggers, health care professionals, counselors, and others constantly discuss the importance of and how to achieve a balance. Much of the discussion has to do with the accumulated stress and subsequent fallout without balance. Balance, however, is a tricky word in this context. The dictionary definition for the balance tool provides a clear image that can help us visualize the problem: “an instrument for weighing: as a beam that is supported freely in the center and has two pans of equal weight suspended from its ends.” Theoretically, then, if we pile all the stress on one side of the beam, we should be able to pile a whole bunch of other stuff on the other side of that beam to create balance.  This implies that we can achieve equilibrium if we find the right counterbalancing stuff.  Read More

Donna was feeling bogged down by her lack of organization, as she put it. “I have so much stuff in my life (things!) that I can’t seem to organize, and it feels like it holds me back.” This is surely a common complaint and frustration for many people. From the outside, it seems like an easy problem to solve: devote small amounts of time regularly, sort items in boxes, and handle disposing of or packing for storing the easy stuff first. Donna, of course, knew that drill and had tried it many times without success. She had just turned fifty and wanted to “put her house in order,” literally and figuratively, but she was frustrated and discouraged. Read More

Kelly speaks and writes well; his linguistic strengths are evident. He cares about words and their specific meanings and works diligently in conversation to be thoughtful about the language he uses, while respecting others who are not as linguistically oriented. If there is a lack of connection or understanding in a conversation, Kelly works even harder to find a different tack to create an understanding. He’s very careful not to just chalk it up to the other person’s failings. At times he takes this to extremes, especially when the other person isn’t truly engaged. Kelly keeps trying and trying and trying and winds up discouraged, feeling that he has failed. Read More

When Joanne looks into the mirror she imagines seeing someone else, not because she wants to be someone else but because she wonders what it’s like to be another person. This “technique” is something she does as contemplation—a way of putting herself in another person’s shoes. Read More