We all talk to ourselves quite a lot, sometimes out loud but mostly internally. In fact we spend more time talking internally than externally. This is a complicated matter in the relationship we have with ourselves, and it’s worth paying careful attention to the way we do this. Here’s an example of someone we’ll call Will trying to understand his reactions, thoughts, and feelings about jealousy as it involves his girlfriend, June. Read More
Frequently, I’ve heard from parents of a child I’m counseling, the child’s rendition of our session.
Parent: How was your session today?
Child: We played checkers. I beat him.
Parent: Did you do anything else?
Child: No.
Parent: Did you tell him about what happened at school yesterday?
Child: No.
I usually anticipate this type of interaction and explain to parents how careful they must be asking their children questions about counseling sessions, inadvertently inserting expectations, and not necessarily taking what’s said (by the child) as the whole story. Read More
When some years have passed since a divorce and each person has moved on in creating an independent life, certain feelings can linger that cause confusion. Here are some of the comments I hear from clients in counseling: Read More
Wanting change and initiating change are two related but separate experiences. Wanting is an internal experience, initiating is external. So often in relationships we want it to feel and be different, not realizing that while altering intentions and attitudes can help, you still need to do something differently. Behavior has a sticky habit of remaining the same, despite good intentions. Read More