Note: This is a follow-up to an earlier Thinking Out Loud post, “Teaching Kids To Communicate. It is intended to be an op-ed piece. I feel very strongly about this topic, and I am eager to hear comments. Read More
Note: The following story comes from my practice and is more about processing style than communication style. The two are aligned and sometimes the separating line is faint and fine: when we process information, after all, we are in communication with ourselves. Read More
We are constantly asking questions of one another. It’s so natural a part of human interaction, we hardly realize it. We need information to understand, so we ask. But certain kinds of questions elicit better responses than others. I’ve taken to asking people more directly which kinds of questions work best for them. Read More
I’ve always talked a lot. Those who knew me as a young child tell stories about how much I loved to talk. When you’re a cute, curly haired three-year old it can be delightful. My son talked a lot, too, and his daughter probably talks more than both of us combined.
Fortunately, when I was a novice counselor, I was exposed to some master listeners who impressed on me the importance of quieting down. As a counselor you must understand the other person in some depth before you can have much to say. Understanding does not occur by talking a lot, nor does it happen easily or quickly. I’m not advocating that day to day interaction be based on counseling principles. But, I am advocating for more listening. Read More