Most of us don’t associate communication with Father’s Day. But fathers do communicate whether or not they use many words. Do you really talk to your father? Does your father really talk to you? Mine mostly talked at me and wanted me to talk more to him, which meant tell him what he wanted to hear. Read More
I’ve been asked to write a piece on cursing and find it difficult. Cursing occurs for many reasons, and certain words can be used in different contexts and so have different meanings or impact. Read More
In short, stonewalling is an attempt to avoid discussing or doing something. We build walls to protect ourselves, and the purpose of stonewalling is to protect. Generally, stonewalling is not intended to hurt the other person but it can and would be when perceived to be disrespectful or contemptuous. Unless you’re dealing with something extreme or dangerous in a relationship, assume good intentions on the part of a “stonewaller,” even if at first that’s hard to accept. Read More
Back in November, 2010 a Wall Street Journal article reported on recent research about talkers vs. non-talkers and how the non-talkers control the conversation. This, of course, is counter-intuitive because the conventional wisdom would say that talkers are in control. The thesis is that when the non-talker is done listening, the conversation is over. So often we want to simplify interpersonal communication by making people a this or a that, in this case talkers and non-talkers. (The article does, however, keep men and women out of the usual pigeon-holes.) Read More