Thinking Out Loud

Introverts and extroverts, it seems obvious which camp you are in by simple observation. Do you walk into a social situation and seek out others for conversation, enjoying the back and forth of friendly discussion? Or do you enter the room more cautiously, perhaps having a conversation with one or two others after some feelings of awkwardness? Let’s be careful not to stereotype, remembering that many of us exhibit qualities of both depending on the situation. Still, there is some basic truth that each of us belong more in one camp than the other, but how important is this? Read More

When some years have passed since a divorce and each person has moved on in creating an independent life, certain feelings can linger that cause confusion.  Here are some of the comments I hear from clients in counseling: Read More

A common perception is that women have a positive association to relationship talk and men don’t—that women feel better connected through relationship talk, whereas men are distressed by it and tend to feel criticized. I think this is another myth perpetuated in the popular culture, based on stereotyping and misunderstanding of individual communication styles. I’ve written about this before and suspect I’ll continue to write about it from time to time because it’s a complex and confusing topic, simply because humans are complex and confusing. No one has quite figured us out yet. So when you put two of us together in an intimate relationship, it’s bound to be . . . confusing. Read More

When communication breaks down, you must try to fix it; but when things go badly, it is very difficult to go back and risk the same breakdown. If you revisit the problem at hand, you must be prepared to do something different. Too often, the revisiting is done by restating what you already said, which will likely result in the other party restating what they already said. Then, it’s strike two. Read More