Thinking Out Loud

It’s Not Really That Simple

Back in November, 2010 a Wall Street Journal article reported on recent research about talkers vs. non-talkers and how the non-talkers control the conversation. This, of course, is counter-intuitive because the conventional wisdom would say that talkers are in control. The thesis is that when the non-talker is done listening, the conversation is over. So often we want to simplify interpersonal communication by making people a this or a that, in this case talkers and non-talkers. (The article does, however, keep men and women out of the usual pigeon-holes.) Read More

Mentoring

“Question Authority.” Those were the words on the famous bumper sticker that defined the baby boomer generation—my generation. It was clearly meant to be confrontational and a game changer. The purpose was to get the attention of the ruling generation with a strong message: the status quo will not be tolerated. A powerful slogan infused with optimism and idealism and defiance. Read More

Playing Checkers or Counseling?

Frequently, I’ve heard from parents of a child I’m counseling, the child’s rendition of our session.

Parent: How was your session today?

Child: We played checkers. I beat him.

Parent: Did you do anything else?

Child: No.

Parent: Did you tell him about what happened at school yesterday?

Child: No.

I usually anticipate this type of interaction and explain to parents how careful they must be asking their children questions about counseling sessions, inadvertently inserting expectations, and not necessarily taking what’s said (by the child) as the whole story. Read More

Praise in the Workplace

Joshua owns and runs a small business with fifteen employees. He enjoys managing and takes pride in his ability to work with others. Delegating, in particular, is important to his philosophy of running the business. He wants others to take initiative, responsibility, and feel empowered on the job. So, he tries to be clear about his expectations but also encourages employees to take some risks and not be afraid to make mistakes. Read More